Not just another Monday...

It was 9.15 a.m. She walked in  feeling extremely confident and positive about the presentation. Her client was delighted to see her as this was something she was looking forward to organising for her team. They had a clear agenda and had been working towards it with her for a while now, this session was meant to be the big show for the rest of the team. She was also hoping it would open a few more doors with other members within that organisation.

She sat down to set up her slide show, as she sipped on a smooth cup of nespresso. The audience started to trickle in and picked their spots around the large boardroom. There were close to thirty members expected to show up that morning. She walked around the room to exchange pleasantries and business cards. After one round of that, she decided to settle down and meet the last minute entrants later in person. Just as she settled back into her seat, the last four people entered the room, and among them, there he was, tall, dark, handsome, with eyes that pierced right through you and through his steel grey shirt, she could tell he had quite the physique as well. He took the seat right in front of her. Without losing a moment, he asked the organiser to introduce them. She managed a smile at the time and pretended like she was going to jump straight into the presentation. But inside, she felt light, as if she needed to sit down. It was time to stand up and start talking though.

Trying hard to tame the almost teenager-like flutters in her heart and desperately trying to control her lips that somehow spread into a smile, she began talking about innovation and technology and everything in-between, it was all a blur now of course. After slide ten, two sips of water, fidgeting hands and an unnecessary smile all through, she forced herself to look at other people and not in his direction even from the corner of her eye. She focused on an older lady in the audience who seemed genuinely interested in the subject and connected with her gaze. Eventually managing to get through the sixty minutes, she managed to talk some sense and delivered a fairly decent presentation after all. She even had some really good feedback from members of the audience at the end of the session.

Eventually, she allowed herself to face him again. The anxiety had passed, and what was left was the joy of having seen someone that she wanted to just keep looking at. She did have to remind herself though that they would all have to go back to work and that would be the end of it, as he was after all, a client. As guests started to leave, she thanked each of them and exchanged cards with those that she missed out earlier. The organiser offered to bring in some more coffee and just then he leaned across the table to give her his business card. She obviously returned the gesture feeling very pleased that she now knew his name. To her surprise he asked if it would be okay with her if he rang her after 7 p.m. someday. 'You'll have to ring me to find out now, won't you!' is what she managed to say. He smiled at this response and their eyes locked -she just couldn't turn away from those deep, dark eyes.

One of the best Mondays ever, she smiled right through the day for no apparent reason and secretly went home around 6 that day, thinking of what might lie ahead that evening...

Day dreaming

Day dreaming is a blessing. Little do we realise what great inner peace we get when we switch off from the realities of the now and day dream about the possibilities of a tomorrow, or simply the possibilities of another life. At some level it gives us the strength to battle the realities of now. And at another level, it almost takes away the angst and distaste of the present worry and offers a chance to deal with and transform that angst into something less painful tomorrow. There is almost new found belief in the self and a realisation that the self is beyond the perils of the present moment, and that while it may be a part of the present moment, it will transcend the present and even the painful past.

Day dreaming offers a refresher in the middle of a routine drama - the drama of life. It's almost like a refreshing swim on a sweltering summer day. So what do you do when you're staring at graphs and annual reports and your mind starts to wander. Suddenly you find yourself in the middle of an ocean, wondering if you should jump off the boat with or without the snorkel?! You then start to focus on the technicalities of the boat moment - you think about your prowess in the water and remind yourself that you might not want to do it alone. As you deliberate you hear voices, and suddenly you find that there is exciting company on the front of the boat, and you are in fact not alone. A bunch of rather adventurous looking folks are planning to jump off as well. Among them , a strapping young diver offers to take you through the serene waters and says he'll make sure you don't drown. You, your snorkel and your diver - a broad smile spreading across that face as you imagine this, the muscles in your shoulders start to relax. And you take the plunge - the waters just melt around you and its almost like balm washing off all the pain that wants to cling to you, all those unwanted thoughts and all those bitter feelings. It's bliss, just the water, the blue waters and you. Once you are done with that swim, you are back in the now and almost instinctively, you are looking for water effects to throw on your slides!

Liberating, mindless as it was, that moment of day dreaming, and thoroughly refreshing. You are now ready to combat the mundaneness of the present moment and just a little more well equipt to make it a wee bit more imaginative as you go!

Priorities...

It was a Friday evening and she was heading home, while the rest of the office was going out for drinks. She knew he’d be waiting and to him there was no difference between a Friday and any other day. A once strapping and dashing man, he was now no more than just a vegetable, a lean one at that. His skin barely stretched enough to cover his bones, frail, weak and pleasantly unaware. Yet she knew he understood things and still had feelings, so the last thing she wanted was to disappoint him.

When she reached home, he was waiting for her in the balcony with his slippers on and ready to go. While he could barely lift himself up from the chair, he still insisted on wearing slippers whenever he had to go out of the house. She rushed upstairs to leave her things and gave him a quick hug before wheeling him out of the house. It was a gorgeous summer evening with more people than usual at the park nearby. As she carted him around the park there were friendly faces that said hello to him, faces who knew him for decades, knew the man he used to be and knew him as he was now. Yet to him, they were all strangers. He would ask each time about them  and she would tell him every time about who they were and of how he knew each one of them.

She wheeled him over to their usual park bench and as she sat there, gently took his hands in hers and massaged his fingers and arms. She did the same thing ever since she was a child and it was something he came to expect whenever he was with her, a small service for a man who taught her everything she knew. With no parents to raise her, he was pretty much everything she had. At eighty five, he knew his time would come soon, and so did she. But until then, every moment that she could spend with him was all she ever wanted. She knew she could be out making friends, finding love and living it up. But nothing made her happier than just sitting by his side, knowing how much he looked forward to this time, everyday. 

Waiting...

She stood there, her gaze fallen as she answered her next customer, almost as if he didn't exist to her. She was just doing her job, pouring out the next cuppa as she waited, seventh day in a row. She was fast losing hope now. It had been seven days since that day at the movies.

They were two very different people leading two very different lives. He was over forty, a History professor who was married for fifteen years with a twelve year old son. She was twenty two, a Literature grad, who worked at her aunt's coffee shop. She had been doing this for the last seven years and began doing it to earn some extra cash. Soon it became her way of earning her tuition and now she just continued to support her aging aunt with the coffee business. In all her seven years, she never once went without a chirpy hello or a vibrant, 'have a great day!' to every single customer she served. This past week though, she could barely get by with a 'what can I get you?' as she sniffed back tears.

She thought back to the first day they'd met just about a month ago. He walked into the coffee shop, soaking wet, with a broken umbrella and dripped all over her grandmother's carpet. 'Excuse me...umbrella bags are outside. Please don't bring dripping umbrellas into the store', she yelled out sternly across the crowd, yet with a polite fake smile. He took no notice and seemed pre-occupied with dusting off the leaves from his coat. This angered her even more, and she went straight to him to pick a quarrel right there in front of everyone. The minute he looked up at her though, he apologised in the nicest way for messing up her little joint. Her gaze softened and she could tell he meant it and for some strange reason she found his apology endearing. Her intention to forge a battle that day was put to rest and eventually they got chatting so much that she ended up having coffee with him, while her aunt took care of the customers. 

It began then and he came to the coffee shop every day after that, some days he even had breakfast with her before he headed to the university. After two weeks of this, they decided to go to the movies one day together. It was their first appearance together outside of the coffee shop. Little did he know though, that his son was going to be there as well with his friends, on the same night at the same cinema. Somehow being seen by his son this way made him realise that this was probably going where it shouldn’t. He apologised to her and left abruptly that night, and she hadn’t seen him since. She considered going to the university to find him, but somehow thought it would be best to wait for him, when he’s ready, if ever he will be...

Turmoil...

It had been three weeks since her last confession. She didn't quite know what to say or how to say it. The church was eerily quiet at 10 am, that Tuesday morning. She was supposed to be at work but that was the last thing on her mind. There were frantic thoughts of remorse, guilt and disbelief that she was actually in this situation. Her options were flight, confession or pretentious existence, she chose to confess to the Lord first.

Theirs was a magical union, where everyone who knew them, knew that they were meant to be. It had been nine years since that day when she had professed her undying love and eternal fidelity to him in this very church. The last three years though, had made the memory of that day a little faint, as she found it increasingly difficult to stay connected to him. She had a job that took her away from him at least twice every month and he had a job that he was almost entirely married to.

And then there was him. They spent many late nights working on challenging projects where they challenged each other intellectually and shared each others pain and joy. They had spent every hour of every day for the two weeks that they were away together on a recent project from which she had returned just three days ago. At the end of the two weeks, she didn't know how to end it and she didn't know how to come back and tell him about it. Somehow she thought making a confession might help, help bring the strength she needed to confess to him. But she still hadn't ended it, so was she really confessing her guilt or seeking permission to let go?

Hide and seek...

As she stepped outside looking stealthily this way and that, she realised she had never really done this before. As much as she loved airports, she never thought she would be exploring every nook and cranny of one in a strange land far away in a third world nation. This was a trip under wraps, a few days of each other in a strange land- that was the plan. They both had reasons for not telling various people and this meant making sure they were not seen. But life has its own way of shaking up the box. Someone they knew, a common acquaintance was arriving the same day at that same airport, and was on the same flight with him.

As she stepped out of the airport, looking for a safe spot to wait out for him, she found herself suddenly excited. It was the excitement of being somewhat of a celebrity( who was trying to hide from the mob) for those few minutes as she wrapped a scarf around her head and dawned her sun glasses on that cloudy day. She caught herself chuckling even as she realised how much fun this was.

As she waited there that day, memories came flooding back of all those times they had snuck around like teenagers, worrying someone would see them somewhere. Although there does come an odd feeling of security in being ambiguous to the rest of the world. As he finally came out that day, and found her after looking past her twice, they laughed about the hiding and the running away. Simple, straightforward meeting at an airport, now a fond memory and something that will make her smile everytime she thinks of that day.

The third date...

It was her third date with him. She had been seeing his father for six months now and two weeks ago she met him for the very first time. Timid, yet trying to be brave, loving yet trying to be cold, this little boy barely spoke to her on the first date, he was almost avoiding eye contact like a shy teenager. He would look at her whenever she looked at his dad, somewhere in his mind trying to compare this to the way his mom looked at his dad.
It had been two years since his mom died, and although he didn't remember much about her, he did remember that she was what his dad loved most in the world. But now it was her. Whenever his dad looked at her they would lock eyes for minutes on end and it was as if he could see nothing else when she was around. She somehow brought out the same love in his dad's eyes, the kind that mom did. But she was new and what worried him most was that his dad might love her more than him and they might forget all about him in the pursuit of a new life.
And so she arrived, at the coffee shop just when he was intently playing a game on his dad's new ipad 2. A minute later she and his dad were trying to share a quiet moment right behind his back as he poured over the ipad. Although they were being discrete, he knew exactly what was going on, he was seven, not stupid. Father and son rarely went out without her these days or so it seemed to him, more often than not lately. He expected her to start talking to his dad now and then dad would forget all about him. But she spoke to him instead. Or at least she tried to. His dad then offered the game to her and she started to play. You could tell it wasn't even an educated attempt, she surely had no idea of what she was doing. She looked at his dad for a little help, when he surprisingly stepped up and started to deliver instructions on how to play. Suddenly there was a conversation. Within minutes they were laughing together about how studpid she was and how horribly she played the first round.
It was their third date, he took a little longer to melt than his father did. But she had hope now. She could tell that this was going to become a very interesting revelation, a different kind of relationship, something she was not ready for at all, but was looking forward to immensely.