Waiting...

She stood there, her gaze fallen as she answered her next customer, almost as if he didn't exist to her. She was just doing her job, pouring out the next cuppa as she waited, seventh day in a row. She was fast losing hope now. It had been seven days since that day at the movies.

They were two very different people leading two very different lives. He was over forty, a History professor who was married for fifteen years with a twelve year old son. She was twenty two, a Literature grad, who worked at her aunt's coffee shop. She had been doing this for the last seven years and began doing it to earn some extra cash. Soon it became her way of earning her tuition and now she just continued to support her aging aunt with the coffee business. In all her seven years, she never once went without a chirpy hello or a vibrant, 'have a great day!' to every single customer she served. This past week though, she could barely get by with a 'what can I get you?' as she sniffed back tears.

She thought back to the first day they'd met just about a month ago. He walked into the coffee shop, soaking wet, with a broken umbrella and dripped all over her grandmother's carpet. 'Excuse me...umbrella bags are outside. Please don't bring dripping umbrellas into the store', she yelled out sternly across the crowd, yet with a polite fake smile. He took no notice and seemed pre-occupied with dusting off the leaves from his coat. This angered her even more, and she went straight to him to pick a quarrel right there in front of everyone. The minute he looked up at her though, he apologised in the nicest way for messing up her little joint. Her gaze softened and she could tell he meant it and for some strange reason she found his apology endearing. Her intention to forge a battle that day was put to rest and eventually they got chatting so much that she ended up having coffee with him, while her aunt took care of the customers. 

It began then and he came to the coffee shop every day after that, some days he even had breakfast with her before he headed to the university. After two weeks of this, they decided to go to the movies one day together. It was their first appearance together outside of the coffee shop. Little did he know though, that his son was going to be there as well with his friends, on the same night at the same cinema. Somehow being seen by his son this way made him realise that this was probably going where it shouldn’t. He apologised to her and left abruptly that night, and she hadn’t seen him since. She considered going to the university to find him, but somehow thought it would be best to wait for him, when he’s ready, if ever he will be...

Turmoil...

It had been three weeks since her last confession. She didn't quite know what to say or how to say it. The church was eerily quiet at 10 am, that Tuesday morning. She was supposed to be at work but that was the last thing on her mind. There were frantic thoughts of remorse, guilt and disbelief that she was actually in this situation. Her options were flight, confession or pretentious existence, she chose to confess to the Lord first.

Theirs was a magical union, where everyone who knew them, knew that they were meant to be. It had been nine years since that day when she had professed her undying love and eternal fidelity to him in this very church. The last three years though, had made the memory of that day a little faint, as she found it increasingly difficult to stay connected to him. She had a job that took her away from him at least twice every month and he had a job that he was almost entirely married to.

And then there was him. They spent many late nights working on challenging projects where they challenged each other intellectually and shared each others pain and joy. They had spent every hour of every day for the two weeks that they were away together on a recent project from which she had returned just three days ago. At the end of the two weeks, she didn't know how to end it and she didn't know how to come back and tell him about it. Somehow she thought making a confession might help, help bring the strength she needed to confess to him. But she still hadn't ended it, so was she really confessing her guilt or seeking permission to let go?

Hide and seek...

As she stepped outside looking stealthily this way and that, she realised she had never really done this before. As much as she loved airports, she never thought she would be exploring every nook and cranny of one in a strange land far away in a third world nation. This was a trip under wraps, a few days of each other in a strange land- that was the plan. They both had reasons for not telling various people and this meant making sure they were not seen. But life has its own way of shaking up the box. Someone they knew, a common acquaintance was arriving the same day at that same airport, and was on the same flight with him.

As she stepped out of the airport, looking for a safe spot to wait out for him, she found herself suddenly excited. It was the excitement of being somewhat of a celebrity( who was trying to hide from the mob) for those few minutes as she wrapped a scarf around her head and dawned her sun glasses on that cloudy day. She caught herself chuckling even as she realised how much fun this was.

As she waited there that day, memories came flooding back of all those times they had snuck around like teenagers, worrying someone would see them somewhere. Although there does come an odd feeling of security in being ambiguous to the rest of the world. As he finally came out that day, and found her after looking past her twice, they laughed about the hiding and the running away. Simple, straightforward meeting at an airport, now a fond memory and something that will make her smile everytime she thinks of that day.

The third date...

It was her third date with him. She had been seeing his father for six months now and two weeks ago she met him for the very first time. Timid, yet trying to be brave, loving yet trying to be cold, this little boy barely spoke to her on the first date, he was almost avoiding eye contact like a shy teenager. He would look at her whenever she looked at his dad, somewhere in his mind trying to compare this to the way his mom looked at his dad.
It had been two years since his mom died, and although he didn't remember much about her, he did remember that she was what his dad loved most in the world. But now it was her. Whenever his dad looked at her they would lock eyes for minutes on end and it was as if he could see nothing else when she was around. She somehow brought out the same love in his dad's eyes, the kind that mom did. But she was new and what worried him most was that his dad might love her more than him and they might forget all about him in the pursuit of a new life.
And so she arrived, at the coffee shop just when he was intently playing a game on his dad's new ipad 2. A minute later she and his dad were trying to share a quiet moment right behind his back as he poured over the ipad. Although they were being discrete, he knew exactly what was going on, he was seven, not stupid. Father and son rarely went out without her these days or so it seemed to him, more often than not lately. He expected her to start talking to his dad now and then dad would forget all about him. But she spoke to him instead. Or at least she tried to. His dad then offered the game to her and she started to play. You could tell it wasn't even an educated attempt, she surely had no idea of what she was doing. She looked at his dad for a little help, when he surprisingly stepped up and started to deliver instructions on how to play. Suddenly there was a conversation. Within minutes they were laughing together about how studpid she was and how horribly she played the first round.
It was their third date, he took a little longer to melt than his father did. But she had hope now. She could tell that this was going to become a very interesting revelation, a different kind of relationship, something she was not ready for at all, but was looking forward to immensely.

Hiding...

It was nearly six pm now, she had looked at her watch four times in the last ten minutes, knowing that she had to leave on the dot. She was meeting him at six twenty at a place not very far from here. It was the usual place, the safe place, the familiar dark place, the familiar happy place. They usually met at this quiet little bar down the corner, halfway from both their offices. It was a safe place, since no one she knew ever really went there. The only familiar face was the owner of the bar, he knew them well and could tell they came there to hide. How strange these past two years had been, the lying, the sneaking around and the tense moments when she thought she had been discovered. But in these two years there was also the excitement, the intrigue and the passion that he brought to her life. She waited every month for the last week, which was when he would visit and she would lose herself. This man was drawn to her and became even more interested when he found out she was not available. He was everything that she longed for, everything that she no longer had with her partner. The only thing she shared with her partner was the roof they lived under, he was away every three or four days on business trips and even if he was in town, he would invariably be working late. She was longing to fill that void of desperate loneliness and unfulfillment that characterised her marriage for the past three years.

Five years ago, his career took a turn for the better, and he allowed work to engulf his entire life. Working late was the norm and he usually preferred to miss the odd social obligation and usually cancelled on plans with her at the last minute. Something always came up at work and it was her, he knew she would understand. It wasn't until the day he stumbled upon an email she had written, that he realised how far she had actually drifted. It was the most wonderful letter, filled with love, anticipation and passion - but it wasn't addressed to him. Life was not waiting for him like he thought it would. He thought about confronting her on many occasions and it was now six months since the day of that letter. On the last week of every month he knew she would be working late, sometimes even until the wee hours. While he always pretended to be asleep when she returned, he never really got much sleep at all during those weeks. Asking her though, meant having to hear her say it and he feared nothing more than hearing it from her. But how long would he keep the silence?

And how long would she play this game?

Wake up, my darling...

It was nearly 4 pm, he was writing the final words on a report and aiming to leave work early. Just about a week ago, he would have been excited about the prospect of going home early, but not on this day. Normally they would both plan to be back early so they could cook dinner together or just cozy up on the couch and do everything but talk. Today it was different. A week ago on this day, he realised she had lied to him. It was because she cared, she said, because she didn't want to see him upset. For him though, it was just all about the lie. How was he going to get past this, if at all...

Ever since that day, he made sure that he did not really run into her at home, coming home late and leaving early, even before she rose. But how long could it go on like this. She was crushed by his indifference and this was weighing heavily on her. She was disoriented at work and people kept pointing out how she seemed totally out of sorts. As she left the house that morning, she was walking down the road to hail a cab when she turned to cross the road without looking back. Her disorientation turned to unconsciousness in a flash. Ten minutes later she was on her way to a hospital with a shop owner who saw this happen. He managed to call her office and some of her collegues rushed to the hospital immediately.

It was nearly four pm, when one of her collegues managed to reach him. Going home early was no longer an option, he rushed down to the hospital feeling completely shaken. Remorse, guilt, anxiety and panic, all took over at the same time. She was expected to remain unconscious for the next three days, doctors were not very hopeful. As he sat there, in hope, waiting and pleading quietly, he realised how much he wanted to hear her laugh again. He remembered the first time they were out on a date. He loved the way she laughed, carefree and totally spontaneous and over the years it was this quality that he fell in love with. What he would give, to have her laugh again. After nearly 8 hours of waiting, the doctors cam around to say that her pulse was improving and that she may come around within the next twenty four hours. One more day of anticipation and patience...one more day...

Silent company...

There she was again, watching the boats go by as she sat by the river that cold winter morning. She made a promise to herself three years ago when she left, that she would come back as soon as she could. She promised to watch the boats again and sit by the river as she used to. She kept her promise. It was like a home coming in some ways, to this place that had been her home for two long years. Far away from her home country, but more familiar than any other place she'd seen in the last five years.

Just as she threw a few crumbs of her Snickers bar to the pigeons near by, he sat down beside her on the same bench. She was about to frown at him for invading her space, when there were many other benches he could have sat on. She looked at him for a bit and then away and then back at him again.He seemed to not notice her at all. Staring away at the bridge in the distance, he sat there, still, just staring. she tried to engage the birds more actively in an effort to break his peace and make him realize that he was bothering her by being around. Wasted effort this was as he did not even flinch or acknowledge that there was another human being beside him.

She was trying to forget the last two years and focus on the fact that she was back here, in this place that she so loved. Pride always got the better of her and she refused to be the one who got up from the bench and continued to sit there, while mentally complaining about this stranger who was sharing her space. After what seemed like forty five minutes, he asked if she came here often. Surprised by the sudden ackknowlegement of her presence and annoyed by the liberty he was taking to talk to her, she politely explained that she was just visiting the country. Hearing her but not really listening, he began to tell her how life had changed for him that day.

Just that morning he had returned from one of his business trips, a couple of days earlier than he had planned to. Intending to surprise his wife in an effort to bring back romance into their existence, he was welcomed by the sight of her with another man on their bed. This more than explained why they hadn't been connecting for a while now and why she just seemed less interested in him, but that it had been going on for over a year came as a complete shock to him. At this point he just stopped talking.

She tried to ask him some questions, which he didn't reply to. She tried to offer some words of comfort which he did not acknowledge. So she sat there, still, and continued to feed the pigeons. She began to realise that he needed her space, he needed to not be alone. Although he didn't want to talk, he needed her there. So she sat there, until he eventually got up and walked away. She called out goodbye as he went away, but he just kept walking. She decided however to come back here the next day, just incase he came back too and needed to talk or just be heard or just be provided some silent company.